Throwback Thursday: Strike a Pose

We talked a lot on Tuesday about Power Posing and I hope it got you thinking as much as it got me thinking.

This week I’ve seen people responding differently to what my non-verbal cues are saying. As a result, I’ve found myself more aware of everyone else’s weak shrunken bodies or confident upright gorilla-statures. I can smell that confidence from a mile away and my oh my isn’t. it. sexy.

Consciously standing tall and sitting upright to convince others what to think of me has caused me to reflect on what I think about myself.

I’ve always had a certain showmanship about me and am not afraid of being the center of attention. I don’t mind taking the lead, I don’t mind making a public fool of myself and as an athlete I grew to crave the spotlight. 

That person I just described is me when I’m in a large crowd, in an anonymous setting or when it really counts for making an impression.

When things get a little more personal, that picture can change… for the worse.

Let’s share a few experiences from my youth:

  • I wrote notes to teachers and emails to my parents rather than having real conversations.
  • My boyfriend from 5th to 6th grade and I only talked on AIM while at school I’d have my FRIENDS pass notes to him.
  • I couldn’t order my own food at a restaurant
  • Through my adult years, I still had anxiety ordering food at a drive-thru window.
  • I couldn’t find the courage to speak up for myself, approach new people or make new friends until they invited me to the conversation.

What it was about these closer interactions that scared me is still a mystery and what continues to give me anxiety about personal interactions remains unanswered.

Just this past Monday I led a difficult conversation at the office in the morning, then that same evening I found myself introverted and timid walking into an Apple store for a Genius Bar appointment about my iPhone camera not working. (to which Dan shakes his head and helps me through it, but can’t see what I’m so worried about)

What causes me to shine in the difficult situation and crumble in the ordinary everyday conversation? Ego I suppose.

Using the power of positive self-reinforcement through body language and visualization will really help me overcome these fears in my personal life while allowing improvement for the proud, confident and composed Jessi many see everyday.

Today’s Throwback Thursday is brought to you by a little girl who’s always had a little swagger in her walk and knew the right time to turn up the lights and let ’em shine.

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TED Tuesday: Power Posing

Stop for a moment and look at yourself. How are you sitting, standing, walking right now? Is your back straight, is your head up? Are you folded up and looking down?

No matter what you’re doing right this moment, what you’re doing at any given moment is telling a complete story about who you are, what mood you’re in and how your day, week or life is going. Your body language communicates more non-verbally than anything would ever express coming out of your mouth. Perception is more often reality, which unfortunately is something you do not always control.

Your non-verbals (including your hand placement, arm position, the way your feet are pointed, whether you’re taking up space or making yourself small) speak an honest story about you and your confidence, personality, and the way you’re going to handle a conversation. It can impact everything from making a connection, landing a job interview or simply the way strangers may approach you.

Our non-verbals govern the way others view and perceive us, but what we explore today is whether we may be able to fool ourselves through body language to make ourselves look and feel more powerful?

Amy Cuddy in the TED Talk I’ve shared today recommends that we should be taking time out of our day to assume ‘high-power poses’ to teach our bodies to change our minds. Take two minutes out of your day as sort of a ‘power boost’ to open your arms out wide like a gorilla, spread those wings like an eagle, heck – even flaunt your gills like our Betta fish! It’s a primal instinct to assume a large and dominating stance when we want to project power and confidence, so why don’t we find it useful more often in our everyday lives?

It’s okay to feel powerful. Powerful people feel more optimistic, they take more risks, they react better to stressful situations and they give others a reason to have confidence in them as a leader.

Take 20 minutes on your lunch break (or just listen) and learn how you too can benefit from power posing.

Don’t fake it till you make it, fake it till you become it.

TED Talks: Ideas worth spreading

heart JE